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There’s a version of me I always knew existed at the back of my head. She’s always been there. Sometimes she’s a light hum like a butterfly flapping her wings - that version of me came out at bedtime, reading stories to my toddlers and stroking their sweet heads. Sometimes the noise is a heavy beat, persistent and loud until I pay it some attention, those were the times I stuck my children in the car and drove across Europe, seeking sun and adventure for my kids. At one point

It’s exam time in my house at the moment and whenever this time rolls round, I’m reminded at what it’s like for a young person facing exams. Stressful, of course for some, but a time of great limbo with uncertainty looming over them like a cloud threatening to cover the summer sunshine. Not ideal. But our young people often stroll through these times like nothing is happening. Why? Frankly, because they’re used to it. The first 25 years of our lives are generally full of twis

Call me disgustingly behind, but I was just finishing the latest series of Bridgerton when I came across a line that stopped me cold. One of the brothers, right in the middle of falling in love, says: “Love is not finite.” I literally had to play it back twice. Love is not finite. My brain started whirring immediately, because those four words expressed something I have been trying to articulate for years. Experiencing love did not curtail my ability to find more of it, it gr

Let’s set the scene; the divorce has been decided on, the initial shock or relief (or both) has settled and you’re now looking round your family home thinking…what on earth do I do with all these memories? Maybe you’ve even moved house and you’re wondering how to build a new home, without the familiar pictures smiling out at you - every picture you had now holds a story that’s become too painful to look at… Whatever situation you’re in - hopefully this do/don’t list will hold

I’ve semi recently moved home and blended my children with my partner’s. This was a step that we were all excited for, after all the other giant steps we’d completed the final piece was coming together to create our own new “hybrid” family. It’s been both a rollercoaster and a joy and feels like an achievement to my partner and me. Yet dismantling one house to form another home, presented a new dilemma and brought up an old question - what do we do with our photographs when t

Single Parent Day took place last weekend and I’ll be honest, it snuck up on me. I personally had no idea that a day had even been set aside to celebrate (or raise awareness) for those parents who are showing up daily not just for themselves but their kids without the support of the other person. Single parents can come from anywhere, not just people who have decided to divorce but also victims of domestic violence, refugees, widow or widowers or simply people abandoned by pa

Sitting down to think about what I should write this week, I found myself confused. Substack has us believe that in order to be valuable here we just need to let our hands do the work on our keyboards and the rest is history. But what if I’ve momentarily forgotten what I have to say? I’m in my 43rd year and sometimes I have myself believe that I know absolutely nothing about this life and although I know this to be fundamentally untrue, it got me thinking about the difference

When I became a high school counsellor seven years ago, the most common question I got asked was: what if they don’t talk to you? Do you have to sit in a room for a whole hour in complete silence?! Any therapist will tell you that silence in the therapy room is often extremely valuable but the single most rewarding part of my job now is listening to how much teenagers actually have to say. Almost the exact opposite of the classic stereotype, they often don’t stop. I’d love to

I expect therapists across the land are mulling over the Beckham scandal right now. I, for one, feel desperately sad to see this type of conflict played out in a public forum; A young person isolated from his family can of course be liberating for a child that is seeking to make their own way in the world. Yet equally terrifying for a young adult if family is all they’ve known. The Beckham family split seems from the outside, a painful place to be and especially triggering fo